The Biggest Wanker I Have Ever Met

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OK first I’m really really sorry Soph and Jez and Jess and Holly. I know I said I’d write more once I quit my job, and then I wrote once. I suck.

But now I have five applications to fill out for cadetships due on Friday and suddenly I feel compelled to write on the Aquarium again! Strange, huh.

Right.  So the biggest wanker I ever met worked at a publishing office. In a publishing office you have the writing people, and the designing people. There really isn’t any rivalry. At all. But Wanker (a writer) thought there should be I guess. I don’t know. There’s a lot about Wanker I didn’t understand.

I feel mean calling him Wanker now. So let’s change his name to Lamb Shank. It sounds endearing, but still has that ‘ank’ sound in there.

One day Lamb Shank came up to my desk and said ‘Hel, who do you reckon’s smarter? Writers or designers?’

‘Um’, I replied ‘I don’t know. They both do different things…’

‘Yeah, but writers have to know stuff, and need a good vocabulary.’ said Lamb Shank.

‘Well, yeah I guess so. But designers have to use all the computer programs and techy stuff that writers don’t.’

Lamb Shank visibly puffed his chest and replied ‘Oh but I can do that shit. I know all that techy stuff too. ‘

‘OK Lamb Shank. You’re smarter than every other person in this office.’ (I was being sarcastic, but I guess I wasn’t clear enough)

“Yeah.” said Lamb Shank, puffing up again. “yeah I am!”

And he turned and strutted back to his office.

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