Exclusive Interview with Lady Gaga

Me: So, lady gaga, what’s crackin girlfriend?
LG: I’m cold, cold.
Me: Yeah it’s a bit chilly, but I’m alright..
LG: my legs are freezing, freezing.
Me: well they would be. You’re not wearing any pants.
LG: Are you dissing my outfit, outfit?
Me: No of course not! I’m just saying. If you’re cold, maybe you should try some jeans or something.
LG: J..j..jeans, jeans?
Me:I thought you only repeated words in your song because you couldn’t think of another word?
LG: No,no. So, jeans, jeans?
Me: Yeah, you know. Made of denim.
LG: Oh like my jacket, jacket!
Me: You can stop that now, now-dammit now I’m doing it. Well no. Not really like your jacket…. It’s got two long tubes with holes at the end to poke your limbs through…
LG: Yeah like my jacket!
Me: well, yeah. But you stick your legs through, not your arms. Here, have a go…
LG: (tries to jump into pants, putting both legs in at once. Immediately falls over.) Wow this is really hard!
Me: Uh…yeah. Maybe you should sit down and try?
LG: (sits down and puts both legs through jeans. Falls off chair. Gets up and tries again. Successfully manages to get both legs through pants. Starts to roll up legs) I think they forgot to trim the excess material off, off…
Me: No the material’s meant to cover your whole leg…
LG: laughs. Don’t be silly! Here hand me those scissors, sci…
Me: Ok!!
LG: (cuts of jeans at waistband, leaving only crotch area, belt loops and pockets). Right! There we go, go!
Me: Sighs. I don’t think that’s the idea…
LG: I’m still cold, cold.

Must be a slow news day in the US.

It’s not like there’s a revolution going on that could have huge implications for the US’s international relations and/or future military deployment or anything….

Is this a bit full on with the Obama-love? I mean, I love Obama. but there are only so many things you can give a headline to.

BREAKING NEWS: PRES OBAMA SWATS FLY DURING CNBC INTERVIEW IN WHITE HOUSE

Hottest 100 of all time. The hardest choice I will make this week.

Triple J is holding a vote for the Hottest 100 of all time (again). You get to vote for ten songs. This is my very very long short list. I’m struggling with choosing songs-do I discount things because they are recent and I’m not sur they’ll stand the test of time? Or is that unfair? Do I vote for songs based on the memories associated with them, or based on the technicalities of what is a better song? I mean, the Whitlams’ Blow Up the Pokies is a much better song than Louis Burdett, but Louis Burdett has such a strong tie with a very large portion of my life. So does blow up the pokies, but not for as long.

It’s too hard!

Anyway, this is my list at the moment.

Bold is what I’m thinking at the moment. It may or may not be ten…..

Stone roses- fools gold
Primal scream rocks
Lemonheads- if i could talk i’d tell you
Oasis- wonderwall
Jeff buckley- last goodbye
Bob Dylan- shelter from the storm
Blur- song 2
Coldplay- god put a smile on your face
Beatles- come together
George Harrison-here comes the sun
Whitlams- blow up the pokies
Portishead-glory box
Queen-bohemian rhapsody
Shins- new slang
Bright eyes- first day of my life
Ben folds- one angry dwarf
Cold war kids- we used to vacation
Gotye-hearts a mess
The herd- only 19
Supergrass- alright
Pulp- common people
Black keys- hard row
Dandy warhols- bohemian like you
Radiohead- paranoid android OR karma police
U2- Sunday bloody Sunday
Hunters and collectors- throw your arms around me
White stripes- 7 nation army
Queens of the Stone Age- No one knows
Mars volta- the widow
Fatboy slim- praise you
Inxs- never tear us apart
Kooks- seaside
Xavier rudd- let me be
Red hot chilli peppers- under the bridge
Beach boys-god only knows
Silverchair-tomorrow
Carus and the true believers- sweet mondays
The verve- bitter sweet symphony
Ben harper- steal my kisses
David bowie- starman
Elton john- tiny dancer
Augie March – One Crowded Hour
Elliott Smith-Memory Lane
Bodyjar-Hazy Shade of Winter
Grinspoon-Chemical Heart or Just Ace?

I’m sure I’ve forgotten heaps. There are a few definites here, and some that I am pretty sure i will cross out… any contributions or opinions would be appreciated
What’s on your list?

IF I HAD TO VOTE RIGHT NOW:

Stone roses- fools gold
Lemonheads- if i could talk i’d tell you
Oasis- wonderwall
Jeff buckley- last goodbye
George Harrison-here comes the sun
Whitlams- blow up the pokies
Gotye-hearts a mess
Supergrass- alright
Fatboy slim- praise you
Inxs- never tear us apart
this list is so unsatisfying. really want U2, hunters and collectors, blur, primal scream, the herd, portishead and the beatles in there.

Might have to get Myrtle to cast a few votes for me…

Royan’s gift

I asked my friend for a blog contribution and she suggested this would be interesting.

” Today’s date is in thirds 03/06/09. Fascinating. “

I don’t think I’ll ask again.

This rant about anti-hipsters and hipsters will probably make no sense because I’m sitting on the fence so hard that we’re in danger of losing a paling.

I’m really sick of people wasting valuable space ranting about Hipsters and how annoying they are.(in print, not on the net. You can write what you want on the net because the net is limitless, despite what this guy says).  It’s a fashion. It’s like lots of other fashions. Granted, this one started from an anti-fashion stance but still. It’s a fad.
Yes, there are the hipster kids who do it because they want to be cool and anti-establishment, and seem really intelligent by quoting Sartre and other writers, poets and philosophers that were most recently popular when women wore hoops under their skirts.  Yes, they have the $200 haircut to look like they never cut their hair. And the glasses. But don’t get me started on the glasses. (that was such a stupid article. There is always a current trend for specs. When I was 11 I had giant lenses in a tortoise shell frame because that’s what everybody else had, but no one wrote newspaper articles about it) . Yes, they want people to know that they Don’t Give A Fuck about low-brow, crass, commercial crap.

These people do piss me off a bit. But only in a bemused, sympathetic kinda way, because I just think that probably started with a few of the ‘hipster’ interests, but didn’t feel like they were hardcore enough and so went all out on some sort of insecure self improvement bender. I do get this because I like reading Shakespeare, and I like indie bands, but I don’t like poetry, I enjoy dance festivals, and I have an active interest in politics and world-y stuff. I’m pretty happy in my interests. But when I hang out with full-on hipster dudes I feel so very very straight-laced. But then I go home and realise that I can read a bit of Hamlet, but if I get bored I can turn on the tele and watch the Biggest Loser without having intellectual guilt pangs.

The thing that gets me with all this bitching and moaning is that it’s being treated as though it’s some special social phenomenon, and that every single one of these kids is a try-hard fake. There are people that actually DO like  to read Satre. They DO like to write poetry and wear black framed specs. They DO like listening to the Animal Collective because they find the music quite enjoyable and pleasing to the ear. But nobody believes them because it’s (ironically) becoming cool to jump on the anti-hipster bandwagon.

It’s exactly the friggen same as every other trend ever in the history of everything. Ever. There are people that follow a trend because they want to project a certain image. There are those that do it because they want to be cool. Then there are those that just enjoy the things that happen to be fashionable.

Here’s a maths equation for ya. Imagine the Red Inanimate Object represents a copy of Satre, or some obscure indie band from Ohio.

Having said that, when someone uses the word ‘bourgeois’ I want to punch them in the eyebrow.

I just want to say that I’m really sad Piers Akerman has changed his picture, and doesn’t look like the fat man from Pie In The Sky anymore.

From this....

...To this.

De La Soul Review: Metro, Sydney Monday 4th May

De La Soul, Metro, Sydney 040509 (c) Helen Davidson

*Reproduced from hot4s.com because i’m SUPER lazy.

De La Soul
4th May 2009
The Metro, Sydney

I really didn’t want my first gig review for Hot4s to be a sickeningly fawning display of sycophancy. I wanted to be the tough, hardened and cynical reviewer; to be able to give a measured, slightly overlording assessment. But I can’t. Because De La Soul at the Metro on Monday night was honest-to-goodness one of the best gigs I’ve ever witnessed.

Cut Chemist opened the show. I’d say he was the support act, but can someone of that calibre really be called ’support’? His funky-ass beats had the place packed and jumping, and it was only 8:30. He got into the crowd with his camera and filmed a couple of front-rowers saying their name (as well as a few other things from a nice bogan lass), and then looped and scratched the bejesus out of it. Bizarely impressive.

Just before De La Soul hit the stage, a group of girls began to form in the front corner. Literally jumping for joy, these potential dancers/groupies could not contain their excitement. Were they going up on stage? Which song? How long would they have to wait? A long time it turned out. I hope they didn’t leave anyone waiting for them back in the crowd because they didn’t get their moment in the spotlight until one of the last songs.

So I’m really just telling you this stuff to drag it out.

De La Soul eventually hit the stage after a long sound check and got straight into it. It was hard to remember that these guys aren’t that young anymore. If my Dad was jumping around rapping on stage in a tracksuit I don’t know that he’d pull it off quite so well. (although Posdnuos did get his Dad-hat on at one stage, ripping into Soulja Boy, “I have a 17 year old daughter-it’s gonna get played”)The energy didn’t let up, and neither did the good feelings. The joy that DLS obviously has for being on stage is infectious and the crowd was a ridiculously happy, good-natured and generous bunch of people that you (sadly) don’t often see in Sydney. Friendships were forged by nostalgia and the optimism delivered by the lyrics and tunes of De La Soul. The Rhythm Roots Allstars were tight as backup band. A horn section, percussionists as well as your regulars, the fifteen-piece were so good I kinda wished they were more than just a backup band and were able to have more solos. The sound was both crisp and thumping. I’m not sure I’ve heard better sound quality at the Metro or anywhere else for that matter.

Posdnuos and Trugoy the Dove are two extremely charismatic MCs. Live Hip Hop has an energy that a band (and especially a DJ) can’t exactly replicate. (Maybe because the audience is so involved? I don’t know. Someone should write a paper on it or something.) The energy and intensity that Posdnuos and Trugoy brought to the stage wrapped everybody up and made them a part of the action. It was a party, not a performance is what I think I’m trying to say. I kept writing down song names- “biggest hit-Me Myself and I” but then crossing it out because the next song would get an even bigger response. I can’t give you a highlight. They did many hits. Ring Ring Ring was probably the biggest singalong. A Roller Skating Jam Named Saturday was also fantastic ( “What’s better than a Friday?”… “Saturdaaaaaay!”) They did many songs I didn’t know but still got into just as much.

Midway through the set the band left the stage for a rest and we enjoyed some intimate DJ and MC time. DJ Maseo kept the tunes coming through his decks with no loss of power, and he occasionally stepped out to help MC. You barely noticed the band was gone. Bringing out Black Sheep from the Native Tongues Posse was pretty bloody awesome. As was their rendition of Feel Good Inc. Which DJ Maseo kicked off with That Laugh, and they held the song up without so much as a sample of Damon Albarn.

At the end of an oh-too-short gig (they could have played all night and it would have been too short) they said goodnight, and the crowd was left smiling with their heads held high. We were all part of something special that night. Maybe it was the venue. Maybe it was the sound engineers. Maybe it was the crowd just needing to hear some happy Hip Hop in these troubled times of unemployment and Soulja Boy (which one is worse is a debate for later). Maybe it is the talent and synergy of three guys that have been together for so long. Whatever the reason, Monday night’s concert showed that De La Soul, at once both timeless and nostalgic, are one of the best performances you can see, which is why they are doing a sell out twentieth anniversary tour, even when half the audience were in nappies the first time around.

A youtube bonanza

OK, I know this is a mildly annoying thing to do, especially if you’re at work pretending to be working.
But I’ve just found so many fantastic clips I have to share them.

First, combining two of my loves into one: Donnie Darko and Tim Minchin

Next how to fail a breath test

Ninja cat

Bert and Ernie Gangsta Rap

The Great Dog Escape

The dodgiest looking movie in the history of the universe. First clue Matthew Mcconnaughey and Kate Beckinsale. Second clue : poignant romantic comedy storyline about midgets.

BREAKING NEWS: Miss Piggy apologises for Epidemic.

BREAKING NEWS: Miss Piggy apologises for Epidemic.

Miss Piggy today released a statement through her publicist apologising for the outbreak of swine flu sweeping the globe.

“It is with regret that I must take responsibility for the disease now causing so much destruction around the world. It was a one-night mistake in La Gloria that occurred under extreme stress and too much tequila. Kermit and I had been fighting and I was angry. It does not excuse my behaviour, but in my defense, Chef said he was using protection. Had I known he was lying, I never would have gone through with it, knowing that it only takes one slip-up for me to pass on the disease that I carry. As a result of this, I take full responsibility as the source of the outbreak. I do however, wish to make clear that the speed at which it has spread is no fault of mine, but rather that of that filthy Swedish man whore. Had I known he would seduce half of Mexico five minutes after he seduced me, I would not have been so easily persuaded. It’s the food that gets me. Every time.”

Miss Piggy and Kermit are said to be working through their differences. Meanwhile, Swine Flu is now thought be responsible for at least 149 deaths.

Right-wingers are so much more creative in their insults

We just call them stupid, ill-informed, uncaring, conservative. All rather boring adjectives really. The names they have for us are almost poetic. I recommend everyone heads over to Piers Ackerman’s blog on the daily telegraph to read some truly beautiful prose. Also to pick fights with stupid people, which I have been doing for the last 3 days now. It’s oh so much fun.
Piers Ackerman is also one of the ************************************ blog-moderators I’ve come across. He’s also law-suit happy, so you’ll just have to take a guess at the adjective there.

Here is just a taste of what the contributors can come up with…

Rudd follows the path that will give him increased power, not what is best for people.

R

udd exploits the soft-headed overly-emotional leftie.

He uses their weakness to build power.

Power for Rudd.

He is far too cold and ruthless to think about the impact his populism will have on the lives of people.

Dead people, burnt people …..

This dimension – the human dimension – does not feature strongly in the calculations of those who are as crippled inwardly as Rudd is … crippled by a life devoted to power-lust.

John Howard was always portrayed by Rudd as the cold, unfeeling one.

John Howard is a warm, deeply compassionate humanitarian man.

Rudd’s chessboard pawns – the soft-headed, easily manipulated people who line up to defend this man of dark cunning – will reject this.

They are convinced Howard is all Rudd has implied he is.

The truth is John Howard is the one with a heart.

Rudd is the snake.

This snake has snaked his way past the guard of those lacking in good judgement and has established a fantasy in their heads. A fantasy that John Howard is what he in fact is.

This snake now has deaths on his head.

All he would care about is spinning it all away.

The Labor way – spin away reality …

If reality comes knocking on Labor’s door they answer it with spin.

Spin – Labors weapon and answer to everything.

Spin – Rudd’s every word.

JJ.
John Jay (Reply)
Mon 20 Apr 09 (07:44pm)
Lesley replied to John Jay
Tue 21 Apr 09 (08:43am)

John Jay. You have identified much of Rudds nastiness so thanks. What a pity so few people actually see the truth about this worm. As in the Heiner Affair, Rudd will use spin, ignorance, lies, denial, possibly paper shredding (I’m sorry, does anyone find this hilarious?? -hel) , to avoid any responsibility.

For Rudd to admit he is wrong? We will never see it unlike his foul temper.
Annie replied to John Jay
Tue 21 Apr 09 (12:36pm)

Well said, John Jay. Rudd has the coldest reptilian snake eyes. When he smile on his lips never reaches his eyes – like a snake, they’re steely and cold. Maybe he is part cobra and hypnotises the weak minded. Rudd’s manipulation of the masses is inexplicable to those who can see through him.
John Jay replied to John Jay
Tue 21 Apr 09 (10:17pm)

To Annie -

His eyes are ice …. devoid of any humanity.

What is in Rudd is in his eyes.